You be the judge.
Real quick ‘cuz we based this one on a goof.
Every time your editors sat through a preview for Green Lantern, we’d nudge each other in the arm and say “that alien looks like Kelsey Grammer” when that purple alien shows up. Didn’t make us want to see the movie, but we got a kick out of that part. So we made a cocktail about it!
Here it is: “The Revenge of the Kelsey Graham Cracker” (we don’t even smoke weed):
- Fuck it.
- Buy a bottle of green chartreuse. This stuff is expensive, but delicious and herbal and it makes you feel crazy.
- Get a box of graham crackers.
- Pull the ol’ “I just need a couple cups for water” move on the mouth-breathing teenager at the concession stand. He’s super hard to trick so feel really proud of the fact that he fell for it again.
- Get some soda water and some ice too.
- Inside a napkin, crumble the graham crackers into a fine powder.
- Rub some chartreuse around the rim of the cup and stick it in the graham cracker powder so it sticks (like salt on the rim of a margarita).
- Put ice in the cup.
- And then about half and half with the chartreuse and the soda water.
- Garnish with a graham cracker.
- Drink. Hopefully the movie is over by now.
Nobody is asking for Green Lantern and nobody is asking for this cocktail. But they should be! It’s actually pretty good, and we know this sounds crazy, but it tastes like what you’d think green tastes like (again, no weed). Really helps distract from the movie and the fact that Peter Sarsgaard’s head looks like a sweaty nut sack.
Anyway, the movie’s not even worth talking about. The highlight is when he is flashing back to his dad dying in an airplane crash, and he turns to give Green Lantern a huge thumbs up right before the plane explodes. Quite possibly the best thumbs up in movie history. But wait for it on Netflix.
We would only recommend this movie to people that we hate. But green chartreuse is pretty incredible booze, and very good when mixed with some soda water and a little graham cracker to make it sweet. Because the movie is not sweet.
You can learn more about Green Lantern at IMDB, the popular internet movie site.
Tags: DC, Diarrhea, Ryan Reynolds