Your editors beat the heat this weekend at Captain America: The First Avenger, which is a cool movie about a cool country in a cool theater. It’s also required reading for anyone planning to see The Avengers next Spring. If that’s you, feel free to suggest cocktails in the comments section (we will ignore your suggestions). (more…)
Archive for the ‘beer’ Category
Monday, July 25th, 2011
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
Your editors have been burned by prequels before, and since this is that, we were pretty sure X-Men: First Grade was going to be booty (spoiler alert: it is).
That said, we wanted to see it for two reasons. Firstly, it’s a blockbuster. We are totally gay for blockbusters.
Sunday, May 15th, 2011
Blockbuster season! Ergo, Thor.
Thor is about this super jacked Norse god who is technically an alien, but whatever. That’s not important. What’s important is how jacked he is: he’s so jacked that he’s the only guy in the whole galaxy who can swing around this magic hammer, which, incidentally, has the power to make him even more jacked. And he wants everyone to recognize. That’s his character. Know it. (more…)
Monday, September 13th, 2010
What’s more expendable than cheap beers by the dozen?
THE EXPENDABLES has all the “top” action stars of our generation (really though, where’s Seagal & Van Damme?) working on covert missions and generally just being badass, it also shows Stallone get a full tattoo in under 10 seconds, how badass is that!
Our usual question, What to drankwiththat for the Expendables? the only logical answer, ALL OF IT.
Knowing the film would land somewhere in the 80-90 minute mark we had to get selective, our initial ambitious idea of splitting a 30 pack was shaved down to a more reasonable and arguably more appropriate 6 pack…each.
In relation to past drankwiththats this one is relatively simple.
• Stop at the nearest deli for the beers, we opted to choose strictly American 12oz cans, though you wouldn’t go wrong with a Russian, British or Chinese selection.
• Hiding the sixers to sneak into the theater on a 95 degree day may not appear to be an easy feat but in relation to overthrowing a fictional dictator of a fictional island guarded by Stonecold Steve Austin this job is nothing. Baggy pants and loose sticking tape are great for lower leg hiding or a better recommendation is the utility messenger bag, oversized with good faux coverage to keep the beers cold and hidden.
• once inside, crack your first of 6 at the site of local Somalian pirates executing hostages, if you are done with that first one by the time Dolph Lundgren blows up his first torso you know you’re pacing correctly, the sixth will empty just as Jason “Christmas” Statham recites his closing poem while playing darts with a knife.
This is a drankwiththat that we can almost guarantee these Expendables would thoroughly approve of though they might question all those carbs.
There’s rumors of a sequel in the works, if we could get a guarantee of at least one boob shot, a better face-off between Stallone and Lundgren and of course a lot more Mickey we’ll definitely be back.
Read The Expendables on IMDB, the popular movie internet site.
Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
Machete is a decent movie about a spoof movie trailer. It stars Danny Trejo, who’s perfectly cast as a “walking shit magnet” with a killer attitude and a killer face situation.
There are 12 decapitations and two naked babes in the first five minutes. From there, it’s an unhinged slide into shitsville – a messy cascade of dusty, craggly-faced violence. So definitely a cool date movie.
That said, your editors originally had no interest in seeing it. To reiterate, Machete is a feature length release based on a goof movie trailer. Hollywood is officially out of ideas. Even more out of ideas than Daddy Day Camp.
But we were in a jam and needed to kill a couple hours. Hence, “The Mashitty”. Here’s the recipe:
- First, be locked out of your girlfriend’s apartment (we have a girlfriend, AND she rents an apartment. Jealous?).
- Next, be alone and have just gotten back into town from a weekend at a cabin with no plumbing or beds. This way, asking for the tiny bottle of Jose Cuervo at the liquor store will make you feel extra homeless.
- (Go to a liquor store and buy that tiny little Jose Cuervo. No judging.)
- Then go to a bodega and get a can of Tecate and a Jarritos brand Mexican soda. Any flavor will do.
- Under normal circumstances, you would carry all three into the theater in a bag, easy breezy. But you don’t have a bag with you because you’re winging it, so just jam them into your pants pockets. Luckily, AMC attendants are not paid to give a shit about “outside food or beverages”, so they tend to ignore the bulges.
- Get a cup full of ice from the concession stand.
- Mix the Jose Cuervo, Tecate, and Jarritos into the cup in the following proportions: -100% it doesn’t matter. Just dump them in.
- Exactamundo! Mexploitation in a cup.
The movie has all the best parts of the trailer with some surprise semi-cameo performances from two of Hollywood’s finest (DeNiro and Lohan).
It’s good enough to make you forget that there are almost certainly bedbugs in the theater, and it is definitely the best platform to articulate your stance on the national immigration issue, Robert Rodriguez.
The drink is actually pretty good too, and can easily be distilled down to a shot to accompany the original Grindhouse trailer, as it was intended.
Read more about Machete at IMDB, the popular internet movie site.
Saturday, August 21st, 2010
Let’s be honest. Your editors see their film reviews and cocktail pairings as an opportunity to take a blockbuster from shit to score. A good drank can: magnify an explosion, punch up the punchlines, mask bad acting, and generally make a movie better. Most times, the films we review need the help. Well, this weekend your editors settled into a matinee screening of Toy Story 3 (in 3D!) and took an unexpected ride with an animated film.
Toy Story 3 is a solid chaser to the animated saga that first earned Pixar its place at the bar. The film is no small undertaking, from the team that made it to the team that drank with it. For those over 21, it brings back strong memories of youth and the process of growing up. For those still drinking Shirlie Temples, it makes childhood magical again. It’s a feel-good, sometimes-feel-sad, and all-the-time-feel-shocked-at-how-much-these-animated-characters-can-make-you-feel kind of movie. Go see Toy Story 3. And when you go, here’s what you drank.
When watching a summertime feel good movie on a hot afternoon with a theater full of kids, what booze do you choose? It must be: A) light and airy; B) covert and easy to hide; C) not too odorous; and D) of course, Delicious. Introducing… The Buzzed Lightbeer.
- On your way to the theater, stop off at the dollar store and pick up some sippy cups and a bag of Twizzlers. We chose Disney-themed, but if you can find Pixar decals, you’re really in business.
- Go to the bodega and pick up tall boys of cheap lite beer, and 2 or 3 Sprites. Why Sprite? Well, it’s going to make that lite beer extra lite.
- When in the movie, mix 1 part beer and 1 part Sprite into your sippy cup. (I recommend cracking the beers open during the intro animation because it’s noisy with music and the kids won’t notice.) Seem strange to mix Sprite and beer? It’s not. Drunk Germans and Spaniards mix this little drank up all the time. It helps them go longer.
- Remove the straw from your sippy cup and replace it with a Twizzler. This isn’t a garnish, this is an edible straw (just remember to bite off each end).
- Now drank.
And there you have it, your Buzzed Lightbeer. We recommend refilling throughout the show (sippy cups are small), but be warned. Filling up cups while wearing 3D glasses can can your take your drink into the 4th Dimension, and your lap.
Read more about the movie Toy Story 3 on the popular movie site IMDB.