MIB3 is the the third film the in the popular Men In Black series, which is now a trilogy. The Men in Black movies are about how aliens live on Earth and a well-dressed division of Homeland Security keep an eye on them. (more…)
Tuesday, June 5th, 2012
MIB3 is the the third film the in the popular Men In Black series, which is now a trilogy. The Men in Black movies are about how aliens live on Earth and a well-dressed division of Homeland Security keep an eye on them. (more…)
Monday, August 29th, 2011
30 Minutes or Less is a movie about a kid who gets a bomb strapped to his chest and is forced to rob a bank by a couple of rednecks. We think the reference to 30 Minutes has something to do with the kid being a pizza delivery driver because it has nothing to do with how long the bomb is on his chest (pretty much all day), and it definitely has nothing to do with how long the movie is (This movie is way longer than 30 minutes. Pack for a regular length movie!). (more…)
Sunday, August 21st, 2011

"When a Sumarian feels thirst, it is the thirst for blood. And vodka."
We’ll keep this brief because there’s maybe seven lines of dialogue in this entire movie, five of which are in the info-dump at the beginning (expertly narrated by none other than Morgan Freeman).
Let us just start by saying that, in his defense, Conan was born to really terrible parents. And that goes a long way towards understanding his behavior. For starters – rather than stay home while very pregnant – his mom decides to go fight against this army of barbarians with dreadlocks trying to enslave and kill her people. Then, when she gets killed (duh), his dad gives her a c-section, right there in the field. With like, an axe type thing! Then he hangs around and keeps fighting and gets killed too, leaving Conan to fend for himself. Very iffy parenting. Very iffy medical care. Very iffy decision-making. But undoubtedly a family of tough bitches. (more…)
Sunday, August 21st, 2011

AN OPEN LETTER
To The Producers of The Smurfs (we know who you are)
Fuck y’all, sirs!
First off, look at us. Look at our site. Look at how we spend our time. We are not picky. We’re total suckers for bad movies. Gluttons. Junkies. Alcoholics, but instead of alcohol it’s bad movies. And alcohol. Between us we probably spend $200 a month on movies and drinks to go with them. Generally, we’re pretty easygoing guys. (more…)
Monday, August 8th, 2011

Optimus Prime: "I'm here to transform normal ingredients into an amazing drink!"
Pop Quiz. If Michael Bay got in a bar fight with John Favreau, who would win? Obviously Michael Bay.
Ok, if Brett Favre showed up and him and his buddy John tried to tag team Michael Bay, who would win? Trick Question, because the answer is still Michael Bay. Also, this would never happen because fighting Michael Bay is pretty mush a suicide mission… in space. Why? Because of Transformers 3! In Space! (more…)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
Monday, July 25th, 2011

More of a gestalt here, really.
Your editors beat the heat this weekend at Captain America: The First Avenger, which is a cool movie about a cool country in a cool theater. It’s also required reading for anyone planning to see The Avengers next Spring. If that’s you, feel free to suggest cocktails in the comments section (we will ignore your suggestions). (more…)
Thursday, July 14th, 2011

"...because I look like JK Rowling." - Lil' B, "Wonton Soup"
Look. Is this the most influential movie review website on the internet? Yes. Can our reviews make or break a film, and do we take that responsibility seriously? Certainly. Super seriously? Way.
But do your editors get invited to fancy Hollywood premiers much? No. Ever? Shut up. (more…)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

You be the judge.
Real quick ‘cuz we based this one on a goof.
Every time your editors sat through a preview for Green Lantern, we’d nudge each other in the arm and say “that alien looks like Kelsey Grammer” when that purple alien shows up. Didn’t make us want to see the movie, but we got a kick out of that part. So we made a cocktail about it!
Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

I'd sure buy these guys a drink.
Your editors saw Super 8 this weekend. If you like Spielberg movies from the 80s, then you’ll probably like this JJ Abrams film from the today that’s made to look like a Spielberg movie from the 80s. Personally, we like “Goonies” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” and “Indian Jones” (both with and without cocktails), so we were psyched about this one. Super 8 was fun to watch, there are a lot of explosions, a good number of kid-style fat jokes (one of the kids is a fatty), kids with braces, and lens flares like in Star Trek. A lot of lens flares! And there’s a monster.