Wuh?

March 10th, 2010 by Dranky

Welcome to Drank With That.  We love movies, and loving movies so much, we know that the only way to make them better is to drink while you watch them. The editors of this publication have worked long and hard to develop techniques for matching the appropriate film with the appropriate cocktail.  We’ve also smuggled a fair share of booze into movie houses, and know that that can be hard too.  So, to make the movie going experience that much better for you, please enjoy Drank With That with your next feature film.  Responsibly, or not.

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MIB 3 (is enough)

June 5th, 2012 by Dranky

MIB3 is the the third film in the in the popular Men In Black series, which is now a trilogy.  The Men in Black movies are about how aliens live on Earth and a well-dressed division of Homeland Security keep a watch on them and occasionally save the planet.
In this version of the movie, something mysterious happens to Tommy Lee Jones so Will Smith has to go back in time to figure it out.  Guess what he figures out:  Tommy Lee Jones was actually played by a different actor when he was younger!  That explains a lot!
Apparently, the guy who plays George W Bush was also young TLJ.  It gets even weirder than that, but we can’t remember because it was right about the time that our minds went blank from the Drank we were dranking.  MIB3… what are you gonna drank with that?  Introducing The Mind Eraser.
The Mind Eraser is actually already a drink.  We’ve had it before, but never like this!  It really makes you wonder, though….
Did the inventors of this drink travel in to the future to know how perfectly their cocktail would match a major blockbuster film?  I’ll bet 6 bucks that they didn’t!  Could they have understood the blend of vodka and kahlua is the perfect beverage representation of ebony and ivory played out by the two leads actors?  Michael Jackson and the Beatles can’t even sing it this good!  Could they have known that the audience would actually want to forget that they’d seen this movie, but would need a little help to do so?  Boom!
On your way to the movie, stop off and buy equal parts vodka and kahlua.
Also, buy some soda water and limes.  You’ll need a knife to cut the lime in the theater.  We only had a plastic one, which wasn’t good enough, so try to figure that one out in advance.
Go to a dollar store and look for blue LED key chain lights.  We couldn’t find any blue ones so we just bought some white ones and painted the bulbs blue with a permanent marker.  It actually worked!
Mix the vodka and kahlua 1 to 1 in a concession stand cup (with ice), then add the soda water to taste.  Garnish with lime.
Use your blue light to flash your buddy and take a drink every time that Will and Tommy do it.  You’ll want to drink and flash as much as possible because it’s easier to forget the movie this way.
Overall, we had a good time at this movie, we think.  Go see MIB3 and drink a Mind Eraser.  Read about MIB3 on IMDB, the popular Internet movie site.

MIB3_image

MIB3 is the the third film the in the popular Men In Black series, which is now a trilogy.  The Men in Black movies are about how aliens live on Earth and a well-dressed division of Homeland Security keep an eye on them. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, You Drunk My Battleship!

May 24th, 2012 by Dranky

You Drunk My Battleship
Battleship is a movie about the Navy versus the Aliens, in boats.  It’s based on the popular board game, also called Battleship.  The original board game is actually kind of a dumb game with a lot of parts that you end up losing, and the movie is also pretty bad.
In this movie, Liam Neeson is the head of the Navy and has a bad relationship with the guy that’s sleeping with his daughter.  He sends the guy off to investigate some space garbage that turns out to be an alien warship.  The ship makes a big bubble game dome over Hawaii.  Liam is on the outside and pretty much out of the movie while the aliens and the boyfriend and a guy with no legs with a lot of speaking lines are on the inside.  They play two AC/DC songs (never do it twice — Iron Man didn’t even do it twice), fist fight with aliens, and then rope a retirement community into manual labor on an old battleship.  The part with the old guys was pretty awesome.  Spoiler Alert: Then they beat the aliens.
Just because Hasbro cut corners on this movie doesn’t mean that you should take it easy when you see a shit show like this.  A board game that turns into a blockbuster is a reason to celebrate.  So, what are you gonna drank with that?  Introducing “You Drank My Battleship”:
Battleships are basically big stupid cruise boats full of sailors, so you need a cruise-line-sized cup to hold this drank.  We picked up a couple of *giant* plastic goblets from the party store on the way to the movie.  Big cups are not easy stowaways when sneaking into movies, so carry a big bag.
Cruise ships are all about Pinas.  You know what I’m talking about.  Pick up the pina colada mix at the same place you buy the rum (we recommend airplane bottles, which are as easy to sneak on to real cruise ships as they are into movies), then ask for cups of ice from the concession stand.  They’re stingy with ice, so you’ll need to send your buddy too.
Pour the mix, ice and rum into the goblet when you’re ready and then get ready for the garnish.  ”You Drank My Battleship” needs a depth charge, and we picked the most alien thing we could get our hands on.  On your way to the movies go to a healthy store where they sell kombucha.  Apparently this stuff is alive.  Pour a shot glass of kombucha and bombs away. Boom!
The healthy drink mixes pretty good with the pina colada and the bubble goblet kind of reminds of you the game dome on screen.  It’s a great drank for a shitty movie.  We hope you enjoy.
You can learn more about Battleship at IMDB, the popular internet movie website.
A couple of disclaimers that should have been included on the movie poster:
This movie is not in 3D.
The acting in this movie is really bad.  Your editors love bad acting, but this acting is so bad that it makes bad acting hard to love.
The aliens look like they were stolen from Halo 2. Halo 2 is another game, and actually more fun to watch then this movie.
No one ever says “You sunk my Battleship.”  How could this have been overlooked?  Seriously.  Who screwed this up? This guy.  (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0388375/)

battleship

Battleship is a movie about the Navy versus the Aliens, in boats.  It’s based on the popular board game, also called Battleship.  The original board game is actually kind of a dumb game with a lot of parts that you end up losing, and the movie is also pretty bad too.  There are no aliens in the board game. Read the rest of this entry »

The Avengers: Hulk Smashed

May 9th, 2012 by Gene Shalitfaced

A benders is more like it.

A-benders is more like it.

Alright team. We know you’re out of shape. We know you’ve been drinking legal booze in licensed, candy-ass sanctioned theaters. And we know you are soft and weak for it. We forgive you. It’s the offseason. But no excuses. Blockbuster season 2012 is now. Get in the game!  You can get lazy again right after Expendables 2: Also Expendable.

Read the rest of this entry »

Out of Box Office

February 6th, 2012 by Gene Shalitfaced

Come on, people.

Come on, people.

We’re busy and there’s nothing but crap in theaters*.

So we’re saving it for the summer. So many good blockbusters coming out! We’ve already begun planning drinks.

Stay tuned. Stay sober. Help is on the way.

Sincerely,

-Your editors

*Actually Pina 3D was pretty good. You can learn more about Pina 3D at IMDB, the popular internet movie website.

30 Minutes or Less. Actually, it’s like 90 minutes. Pack accordingly!

August 29th, 2011 by Dranky

Wait Aziz!  Don't drink that drink!  He put a Mentos in there...

Wait Aziz! Don't drink that drink! He put a Mentos in there...

30 Minutes or Less is a movie about a kid who gets a bomb strapped to his chest and is forced to rob a bank by a couple of rednecks.  We think the reference to 30 Minutes has something to do with the kid being a pizza delivery driver because it has nothing to do with how long the bomb is on his chest (pretty much all day), and it definitely has nothing to do with how long the movie is (This movie is way longer than 30 minutes.  Pack for a regular length movie!).  Read the rest of this entry »

Conan the Barbarian: They massacred his family. They enslaved his people. They will tip accordingly.

August 21st, 2011 by Gene Shalitfaced

"When a Sumarian feels thirst, it is the thirst for blood. And vodka."

"When a Sumarian feels thirst, it is the thirst for blood. And vodka."

We’ll keep this brief because there’s maybe seven lines of dialogue in this entire movie, five of which are in the info-dump at the beginning (expertly narrated by none other than Morgan Freeman).

Let us just start by saying that, in his defense, Conan was born to really terrible parents. And that goes a long way towards understanding his behavior. For starters – rather than stay home while very pregnant – his mom decides to go fight against this army of barbarians with dreadlocks trying to enslave and kill her people. Then, when she gets killed (duh), his dad gives her a c-section, right there in the field. With like, an axe type thing! Then he hangs around and keeps fighting and gets killed too, leaving Conan to fend for himself. Very iffy parenting. Very iffy medical care. Very iffy decision-making. But undoubtedly a family of tough bitches. Read the rest of this entry »

The Smurfs: Don’t even…

August 21st, 2011 by Gene Shalitfaced

We can't.
We can’t.

AN OPEN LETTER

To The Producers of The Smurfs (we know who you are)

Fuck y’all, sirs!

First off, look at us. Look at our site. Look at how we spend our time. We are not picky. We’re total suckers for bad movies. Gluttons. Junkies. Alcoholics, but instead of alcohol it’s bad movies. And alcohol. Between us we probably spend $200 a month on movies and drinks to go with them. Generally, we’re pretty easygoing guys. Read the rest of this entry »

Transformers 3: Robots on the Moon and in Space*

August 8th, 2011 by Dranky

    Optimus Prime: "I'm here to transform normal ingredients into an amazing drink!"

Optimus Prime: "I'm here to transform normal ingredients into an amazing drink!"

Pop Quiz.  If Michael Bay got in a bar fight with John Favreau, who would win?  Obviously Michael Bay.

Ok, if Brett Favre showed up and him and his buddy John tried to tag team Michael Bay, who would win?  Trick Question, because the answer is still Michael Bay.  Also, this would never happen because fighting Michael Bay is pretty mush a suicide mission… in space.  Why?  Because of Transformers 3!  In Space! Read the rest of this entry »

Cowboys & Aliens: Two great tastes, together at last.

August 2nd, 2011 by Gene Shalitfaced

First contact.

First contact.

Some movies are sweet because they are about exactly what they say they are about. Like Snakes on a Plane*. Or Music and Lyrics.

It’s not clear from the title, but this movie is about cowboys and aliens, in general. But also, specifically, are they bros? Turns out: no.

Read the rest of this entry »

Captain America: The First Avenger. Extremely Loud. And Incredibly Close.

July 25th, 2011 by Gene Shalitfaced

More of a gestalt here, really.

More of a gestalt here, really.

Your editors beat the heat this weekend at Captain America: The First Avenger, which is a cool movie about a cool country in a cool theater. It’s also required reading for anyone planning to see The Avengers next Spring. If that’s you, feel free to suggest cocktails in the comments section (we will ignore your suggestions). Read the rest of this entry »